A Galaxy survey, conducted for the Sunday Mail for Father's Day, reveals while most Australian fathers struggle to juggle jobs and family responsibilities, younger dads have the biggest problems with striking an acceptable work-life balance.

But author and demographer Bernard Salt says dads should demand more workplace flexibility because bosses were likely to be sympathetic.

He said women had successfully made the workplace more flexible for mothers and there was no reason why men should have a perception they wouldn't get the same opportunities.

"Employers are more responsive these days and men should speak up and not just bitch about the situation around the water cooler," Mr Salt said yesterday.

"Any one employee - man or woman - who doesn't feel they are getting a fair deal has a duty to themselves to get one, because bosses are switched on to parents' needs for flexibility."

The poll found disagreements over money woes were the number-one cause of arguments in relationships, closely followed by fights over how to discipline children and rows over the in-laws.

One in six men admitted to keeping a secret bank account so they could fund spending without their partner's knowledge.

In a week-long poll that ended Thursday, researchers surveyed 1255 men, from every state, who had children aged up to 17 years.

More than half (56 per cent) said they found it difficult to balance work and family life and 64 per cent felt that their careers would suffer if they asked their employer for more time to spend with their children.

There was a particular reluctance among young fathers, those considered the breadwinner in the family and men from households with an above-average income, to talk to bosses about the problem.

Most said they often felt "burned out and overwhelmed". Two out of three felt they could be be better fathers.

Researchers found that those with high incomes reported that they were happier when compared with those who earned less.

"Some people have argued in the past that even though your income might be higher, you've got greater outgoing expenses," Galaxy principal David Briggs said.

"It still seems to me though, that in higher-income families you have a buffer against financial problems."

One of the most marked differences between fathers and mothers - who the researchers polled in April - was men craved intimacy with their partners to a far greater extent than women did.

More than half of fathers reported that they wanted more intimacy with their partner, while only one in three women wanted the same thing.

"The number-one thing that men want is well down the list for their wives," Mr Briggs said, speculating that it was the long hours mothers put in to feed and clothe the family, run their households and often hold down jobs that left them too tired and not in the mood.

Fathers craved more "alone time" and a greater understanding from their partner about the pressures they felt.

While a third said their relationships with their partners had improved since having children, 21 per cent now felt more like friends than lovers and 6 per cent had gradually drifted apart from their partner.

Three quarters of the fathers surveyed claimed to be happy with their lives and most said they never regretted becoming a parent.

They were most concerned about their children's safety, exposure to drugs, health, bullying, teenage violence and their ability to afford a home later in life.

Mr Briggs said about 15 per cent of men had a secret cash stash for their own purposes such as gambling or a hobby.

"Maybe what it might also be is that some guys who have got particular hobbies, this may be a way of deflecting how much they truly spend on it," Mr Briggs said.

The habits they reported as their partners' most irritating were keeping them awake with snoring, arriving home late after being told to be there early, forgetting their anniversary or birthday and embarrassing them by drinking too much at a function.

source www.adelaidenow.com.au